The Mind of Bluesleepy

A little help from my friends 10 July 2000

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 10:09 pm

This weekend really was wonderful… but the leaving was, as always, very hard to do. Leaving Stina there in her room all alone, with no one but her pet Priscilla to keep her company, almost made me cry. I know she likes to be alone, but I’ve missed her so much over the past two months. Has it already been two months?! Wow, Stina, the summer’s almost over…

And of course, leaving Kurt once more. Damn, that’s hard. All day, I couldn’t stop trying to make time slow, like Capt. Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek: Insurrection. Our weekend together was just so perfect — lazy days of laying out next to the pool and immersing ourselves in the cold water, evenings out with my buddies Stina and Corey, being able to wake him up when I was so scared that one night, having him hold me in his arms and tell me he loves me. It’s hard for me to understand how this could have happened to me — the girl who usually leaves her boyfriends when they get too annoying after a while has finally met someone who she could not be without. Yeah yeah — only six months, blah, etc. and so on…. I can hear all of you in the background trying to plant doubt. There is no doubt between Kurt and me. There is only love. I know it — I finally realized it for sure when he came to see me two weeks ago, and we had this massive blow-up in which we stormed off from one another. And I was all alone in DC without any idea of where he went. I tried my damnedest to blow everything off, to make it seem like it didn’t matter. I told myself over and over again that I didn’t care, I could live without the asshole, screw him anyhow… as tears poured down my face and my heart had sunk down around my feet in desperation. No, folks — I know I’m young. I know Kurt and I have only been together six months. But dammit, I’ve been through enough horrid relationships to realize that this time it’s real.

::sigh:: Pardon me while I compose myself.

Well, anyhow — did I tell you about the road rage I witnessed this weekend?? Freaky stuff, man!! Kurt, Corey, and I were going up to da Burg to see Stina once more (to go shopping at TARGET!), and I was driving Kurt’s SUV. Traffic was heavy up near Jefferson Ave., as usual, so I stayed in my lane and minded my own business. This other lady in a Grand Am decided she wanted to be in the leftmost lane and merged on over — not seeing the motorcycle that she very nearly hit. The motorcyclist was not amused, and swerved around the back of the Grand Am, came up next to her by riding the white line between lanes, and kicked the lady’s car!! I could not believe my eyes! I think it should be required that everyone on the road, before venturing out, should take a Prozac…

I think I should mention that I bought another journal while shopping at Rizzoli’s, an awesome bookstore in the heart of Merchants Square, Colonial Williamsburg. This one is for my most personal, private thoughts, so that maybe I can figure out what’s going on in my life and what I want to accomplish. Let’s hope that I am successful. :o)

And if any of you are in Williamsburg, you need to venture over to Aromas Coffee Shop and ask for the s’mores. Stina got the four of us a tray of s’mores, and I was just amazed by the whole proceedings — Princess, you would have been so enthralled! Let’s go when we get back to school… Anyhow, what they do is set out the graham crackers and chocolate on a tray with marshmallows, and they have this gel in a metal can that they light on fire so you can actually toast your marshmallows!! It was YUMMY!

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