The Mind of Bluesleepy

Woes of the palest paleskin 3 August 2000

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 11:01 pm

OK, let’s see if my computer wants to stay connected to the internet long enough for me to actually complete a diary entry. I tried already once tonight…

Have you ever felt completely impotent?? Really useless?!?! It’s such a horrible feeling. I was online tonight surfing, and I wasn’t surprised that the headlines for DC included a pedestrian killed by a van that jumped the curb, a girl approached by a man in a bookstore and touched inappropriately, and a man murdered at an ATM during a robbery. I clicked on all three links for more info, but just shook my head in despair at how violent this area can be sometimes. Not ten minutes later that my online friend Syllikon icq’s me with, “Hey there…..sad news…my boss was shot and killed last night at a atm.”

I didn’t know what to do. I was in shock. First off, I’ve never known anyone to lose someone dear to them by murder. Secondly, while Syllikon (whose real name is Mike) has always known how to cheer me up, I didn’t know what to do for him. What COULD I do? I don’t know him in real life, only online. I sent him hugs through our icq conversation, and just wished for the best for him in this tough time.

I felt like such a loser for not being able to DO something. Bring a casserole to him. Hug him for real. Hand him a hanky if he needed it. I don’t know… whatever you do when someone dies.

I knew all I could do was listen to him, be there for him. And I was. But I still felt useless…


I’m not looking forward to the next seven days. I have to work those days straight since my last day at work is Thursday next, and I’m already exhausted. I almost tore this lady’s head off when she whined about having to drive all the way from Springfield (I live in Springfield, and I have to fight the traffic both on the way to work and from work…), like she was coming from the Australian outback just to bring her computer in for service. Luckily I reined myself in, and didn’t say anything to her. But I muttered to myself when she was out of earshot, which made me feel better.

Not to mention the moron that called me on the phone today to check on the status of the repair to her computer. She didn’t have her work order number, so she gave me her last name. Jones. I had to scroll through EVERY Jones that brought their computer in for repair since 1992. It’s only the people with common last names that forget their work orders when they call in.

I can’t wait to get to Kurt’s for my two weeks of vacation. I’ll be laying out poolside all day, every day… with my water bottle and my suntan lotion next to me. Whaddya know, I may even tan. :o)

Hey, stop laughing! I can dream, can’t I?!?!


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