The Mind of Bluesleepy

Contradictory 23 December 2000

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 3:29 pm

I have a hot date with my stepmom tonight. Doesn’t that sound exciting?? :o) Well, she really wants to see Mansfield Park, and getting Dad to watch chick flicks is a feat in itself. So she asked me, as I am somewhat a fan of Jane Austen novels, much to Stina’s dismay, and I will be staying in tonight watching the movie with her.

That’s the odd thing… one moment she’s yelling at me, and the next she’s all lovey-dovey.

We got into an argument today, well, not the two of us. But I did yell at her for allowing my ADHD brother to quit his chores in the middle of doing a task and go outside to play. That’s going to really help his ADHD, won’t it? Dad decided he was going to get in on it, and that’s who I ended up fighting with. Apparently, their mode of parenting is “Mark wants, Mark gets.” I think the boy needs discipline. My sister and I were expected to do daily chores and keep track of our own homework. Mark does his homework most of the time, but usually has to call a friend to find out what was assigned, and his chores are done erractically, if at all. Oh well… no use worrying about it now.

But it’s all so confusing. Marty with her mood swings. Usually when we fight she hates me for days and will only talk to me when absolutely necessary. Today she was pissed, but got over it and wanted to be all sweet and loving before I was ready to be. Very contradictory…

And each time Dad mentions my trip to Arizona, he says it in such an angry way. I asked him today why he let me go if he hates the idea of my going so much, and he told me, “Well, you’re 21 and an adult, I can’t tell you what to do.” This, from the man that insists I be home at 10:30pm on the weeknights. Dad doesn’t think it’s “proper” for me to go, but when we were discussing it earlier today I mentioned that it’s no different from Kurt coming to visit me here at my father’s home, which he agreed was a good point.

I just don’t understand my parents.

And I wish to hell my parents were more like my mother and her boyfriend Kevin. Momma thinks Kurt’s a cool guy, and Kevin likes him too. They’ve invited him over to their home over the next few days since all of Kurt’s family is in Arizona, and he’ll be alone for the holidays. They enjoy seeing him, and they get so excited when he and I stop by to say hi.

I don’t even know if my parents like Kurt. Dad says he hasn’t made up his mind yet, and I haven’t really talked to Marty about it. I have the feeling that as long as I don’t date another guy like James, that she’ll like anyone I bring home. :o) I wish they would just accept Kurt, accept the fact that he and I are in a serious relationship, and leave it at that. It would make my life easier.

Now I’m sitting here waiting for my friend Brendan to come up. He’s breaking up his trip to NYC with a stop here in DC. I hope he gets here soon… I’m starting to worry.

Shervan also called me today — because he wants a favor. But it’s a favor I have no problem doing!! :o) He’s picking me up tonight to go to Dulles Airport to pick up his brother’s car, and I get to drive his brother’s car back to their house. It’s a nice car… brand new Chrysler Concorde… oh yeah! :o) It was weird telling him I have to stay in tonight to watch the movie with Marty — usually we hang out almost all the time when I’m home.

Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, and I’m really looking forward to it. I hope we go to the midnight candlelight service. I’m not big into church anymore, but I love that particular service, with everyone’s faces aglow with the soft light of the candles, and the sanctuary lit by many small flames. It makes me want to believe in the Christmas miracle, to believe in Christianity again…

Happy Eve of Christmas Eve to you all! :o)


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