The Mind of Bluesleepy

Where’s the cold weather? 22 October 2001

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 7:11 pm

I don’t know what my problem is right at this moment. I have a money issue that is driving me crazy, but I am fortunate that it’s not a lack of money. It’s just the stupid changeover of checking accounts and getting all that squared away.

So why am I chewing away on my left thumbnail like there’s no tomorrow?!

See, I only allow myself to chew wholeheartedly on that one nail; I’ve been trying to quit chewing my nails for longer than I can to remember. Years. Many years.

And why that nail? I suppose it’s because I sucked my left thumb for so many years. Yes, I was a teenaged thumbsucker. That should be a bad horror movie… :o) So I guess I’m going back to the comfort zone, but at least not regressing back so far as to start sucking my thumb again. Thank God.

Now I just have to make sure I’m not doing it subconsciously in my sleep….

So why am I all stressed out??

Work is going all right, as long as you forget about the other people in the lab that are driving me crazy.

I don’t have financial problems — well, to a degree. We live paycheck to paycheck, but rather comfortably at that. So I don’t count it as being that hard up.

And I’m married to the most wonderful-est man out there.

But for some reason my mind keeps returning to the crap in my past and how I got all stressed out about that. I keep thinking and worrying about people that I shouldn’t be thinking or worrying about anymore.

So I don’t know what my problem is. And it’s really quite frustrating. And I sit here at the computer and keep chewing on my fingernails with butterflies in my stomach as if I had a final exam tomorrow.

I just don’t know what’s going on… And I wish I did.

*sigh*

But the exciting thing is it’s to get cold this weekend. We’re in indian summer right now, and looking at a high of 85 degrees on Wednesday. The lab was unbearable today — I’m not looking forward to Wednesday.

This weekend it’s supposed to get nice and chilly. Like in the 50s. Oh yeah… :o)

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