The Mind of Bluesleepy

Getting psyched out too early 8 August 2004

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 5:18 pm

I am just so glad to have a friend like J. We don’t always agree on things, and I have to bite my tongue sometimes because occasionally she’s not terribly flexible on her views, but all in all, she’s been really good for me. The age difference between us (she’s 15 years my senior) is also good because I have the benefit of whatever wisdom she’s picked up over the years. Also, she’s like Kurt — pretty easy-going and flexible, so it helps me with my dominating personality and bullheadedness.

But the biggest reason I enjoy having her as a friend is she keeps me busy. She hasn’t a clue as to how hard it is when your husband is gone for months at a time, but she has made it so much easier for me to get through our first deployment and now these last nine weeks. She keeps me very busy with all the errands she runs and the games she’s a referee for, so I don’t have a chance to sit at home and be miserable. Plus it makes time fly by so much more quickly.

This weekend I knew was going to be a bitch. This is the weekend before Kurt’s last exam, so we should know this week if he can come home early. In fact, he could be HOME this week. So I knew it was going to be the roughest weekend of the summer because I am so anxious to find out if he can come home. When J told me yesterday that we were going shopping, I jumped at the chance, and sure enough, we left at noon and didn’t get home till almost 9pm. First we got some soccer shoes for her daughter and football cleats for her son at a sports store, and then we were off to Babies R Us. Man, I can get into some major trouble at that store!!! I managed to keep my spending down to $60, but for that, I got a wipes warmer, a bunch of lap and surface protectors (for the bassinet and the changing table), a sheet for the travel crib I plan to buy at the Exchange (no tax if I get it there), and head supports for the car seat. Not too shabby.

I can’t believe the prices at Babies R Us, though. I saw a chifferobe as part of a nursery display, and it was $750!! I don’t have ANYTHING in my room that cost $750! My mattress set, which I adore and bought new when we moved here, was only $500. Sheesh! If I am not going to spend $750 on the master bedroom, why should I spend that kind of money for my nursery?! Craziness. Plus almost all their cribs and dressers are at least $200, which is just way out of my price range. My kid is just going to have to suck up not having matching furniture (like a baby really cares) and having a hand-me-down crib. I don’t think he’ll really care.

I do wish we had a Babies R Us on this side, even though I know you can buy a lot of the same products at Toys R Us. The problem is our Toys R Us is tiny as well, so it doesn’t have much in the way of baby stuff.

We ended up going out to dinner at this 50s-style cafe that offered just hamburgers and hot dogs on the menu (which were AWESOME), and I managed to woof my hamburger down before most people had taken more than three or four bites of theirs. I didn’t realize I was so hungry! I told the waitress that I live on this side of the Sound, and she said, “Oh I’m sorry!!! You live way out there!!” Hmph. You couldn’t pay me enough money to live anywhere near Seattle. The traffic is insane, and while the shopping is good, it’s just not worth all the people and smog and traffic and everything else. Yuck. I grew up in northern Virginia — I’ve had my fill of traffic and too many people in too small an area. I’ll stay here in the country, thank you very much. I just wish the house prices were a little lower so we could upgrade in another few years. But that’s not too terribly likely if I don’t return to the workforce.

I had another OB appointment on Thursday, which J went to with me. She’s such a good friend. But she’s so fascinated by the whole process, since she’s never been pregnant. I’m just glad I can share all of this with her. I wanted to see the same midwife that I had been seeing all this time, CMDR P, but unfortunately she was running late, so I ended up seeing Mrs W. She’s nice too — but she’s just not CMDR P. The nurse weighed me before I went into the exam room, and I actually lost two pounds, which makes me a little nervous. Apparently since I started out overweight, I won’t gain in a measurable trend like normal-weight women, and Mrs W wasn’t worried, but it kind of freaks me out. I know most women lose weight when they’re first pregnant, but most of that is due to morning sickness when they can’t keep any food down. But I’m pretty late in my pregnancy — only seven more weeks to go.

Although I have to say, I don’t think the baby is going to make it to the 40-week mark. I have a sneaky suspicion that he is going to be early. I just have this feeling. I don’t think he’ll be a preemie or anything, but I doubt he’ll make it to the very end. He’s already head-down, which surprised me. And I’m measuring a little bigger than I should be at this point. So I just think instead of making his debut in seven weeks, that it will be more like another three or four weeks. We’ll just have to see — and honestly, I hope I am wrong. I was a little hopeful that he would be one week late because it would make him an October baby. Kurt and I were married in October, and I think it would be neat if the baby were born then as well. But as long as he’s healthy, we’ll take any day that he’s born. Plus my cousin was born on the 25th of September, so she wants me to hold him until then so they can share a birthday. :o)

My dear mother-in-law called me this afternoon. I just adore that lady. Sometimes she’s a serious pain because a lot of things I say she tends to discount or ignore, and that gets frustrating. But I know she’s thinking about me because she calls me every few weeks to see how I am and how the baby is. She doesn’t like the name we chose if it’s a boy, but I knew that already. So she’s stuck on the old name we chose. She’ll get over it, I’m sure. We like the names we picked out, and that’s the important thing.

That, and getting Kurt home in time for the birth. It’s just hard to imagine that possibly this was the last weekend that I have to spend alone. I told him that if he comes home Wednesday (which is when I have my birthing classes), he’ll just have to wait till I go to the class and then come to the airport to pick him up. This final class is on breastfeeding, so there is NO WAY I am missing that. I might be delivered already by the next round of classes, so he’s just going to have to wait! It would only be a couple of hours anyhow.

I can’t get myself too psyched out about his homecoming. We don’t know if he can come home soon. It depends on his command. Even if he does excellently on this next exam, they could still say no. The problem is I’m already excited, so I know I have a long way to fall if I am disappointed. I know better than to let that happen, but this time I just couldn’t resist.

But maybe, just maybe, things will actually work in my favor this time. One can only hope…

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