The Mind of Bluesleepy

I am not a happy camper 20 August 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 1:02 pm

Basically, if you’re a member of the US Armed Forces, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

To summarize the decisions we’ve made up until this point — we couldn’t afford both the mortgage on this house and the “rent” on our home in military housing in Rhode Island, so Kurt left me here to sell the house. He was assured here in Washington that this situation was all fine and dandy, that I could follow at my leisure, that things would all work out.

Of course, we “sold” the house this past week, but the soonest I can leave is the first week in September. We’re waiting on Kurt to finish school and then to fly home just after Labor Day weekend.

Now that he’s checked in to Rhode Island, we’re being told that we’re trying to scam the system. Every decision we’ve made thus far is unauthorized by the US Navy, and we really aren’t allowed to do it the way we have.

We’ve already gotten our travel money. Rhode Island is insisting that since we got our travel money, I should already be out there. Kurt’s checked in to his new command, and since he’s married and didn’t apply for geographical bachelor status (because we didn’t know he was going to leave without me until just a few weeks ago), the Navy is telling him that he can’t be put up in geo-bachelor housing because I should have gone with him. Where he goes, I go also, and screw the house.

Not only do we now have to pay for him to stay in a barracks room (to the tune of at least $18 a day for at least 14 days — yes, that’s cheap, but that’s not part of our budget, along with $10 a day in food to eat in the galley), we have also lost our travel leave. The Navy gives us 12 days in leave to get from point A to point B, but since Kurt’s already checked in to his new command since he had to start training today, those days are no longer available to us. Any leave that Kurt uses to drive from Washington to Rhode Island will now be charged against us.

Fortunately Kurt has a fair amount of leave on the books right now. His leave and earnings statement for last month is telling us he has 36 days, but he’s thinking that the ship hasn’t yet subtracted the 16 days he used when he got home from deployment. So it’s possible we have just 20 days. Subtract another 14 days, and now we’re left with six days. I was hoping to take a few days at Thanksgiving and the full two weeks at Christmas so we could do something for once (he wasn’t home for last Christmas, since he was underway with the Navy). But that’s looking less and less likely.

I’m just pissed that the Navy is trying to tell us we’re scamming the system. I can’t believe that it’s not allowed to leave your wife behind for just a few weeks so you can go ahead of her. The personnel department Kurt’s talking to right now is trying to scare him, and tell him that we could get in trouble for all this.

What gets me is Personnel (aka PSD) here in Washington told him it was fine that we did it this way, yet Rhode Island’s PSD is telling us we’re scamming the system. And Rhode Island’s PSD had the nerve to tell Kurt that “sometimes PSD is wrong!” Ummm, this is one PSD saying that PSD is sometimes wrong. What is going on here, people???

Now we don’t know what the heck is going on. I guess we’ll just have to pay for him to stay in the barracks room until 4 September, unless he can somehow occupy the home in base housing that we’ll be moving into once I get there. But I still don’t know how I’ll get out there, how much leave we really have, how much leave he’ll end up burning….

My mom has offered to help me drive to Rhode Island. I’m thinking that’s going to have to happen, but Kurt’s resisting that because he wants to do it. Basically it’s coming down to two options: either he drives me to Rhode Island and we don’t do anything for the holidays as a family (which is dumb to me because it’s why I’m so excited to move back to the East Coast in the first place), or my mom drives me and we’re able to visit family over the holidays, all three of us.


We have to make a ton of sacrifices in general.  Kurt missed Grace’s first word, her first steps, her first smile… almost everything she’s done, he’s missed.  But that’s a sailor’s life; we knew what was going to happen when I got pregnant.

Now I have to uproot my entire life and my friendships and leave behind my support system because the Navy says so.  I’m okay with that; I like going new places.  But why does the Navy have to make it so hard??  It’s like we’re getting punished because we’re trying to do what the Navy wants us to do.

One command tells us one thing, another tells us exactly the opposite.  I’m getting pulled in two completely different directions…

We’ve made enough sacrifices in general.  Why can’t things go our way for once?

I just wish the Navy would quit jerking us around.


9 Responses to “I am not a happy camper”

  1. michele Says:

    oh honey… i am soooooo sorry. really and truly. if i were Kurt, I would ask to talk to the head of PSD in both Rhode Island and Washington and get the whole thing worked out. There is nothing wrong with you staying behind. The people in PSD in RI are full of poo, I tell you! Seriously, it’s worth a shot. If Kurt is able, I’d recommend that he keep talking to whomever he can because there is nothing wrong with the way you guys are handling your situation.

    Good luck, Sweetie and let me know how it turns out, okay? And, if you need to vent/holler/scream/cry/etc. please don’t hesitate to call me!

    Love you!

  2. karmacat Says:

    How frustrating! I’d offer to drive to Newport tonight and say I was you, but I suppose some sort of ID is required. Ratbastards! I hope you can get this resolved — favorably.

  3. chaosdaily Says:

    if they are jerking you around, pull back! tell washington to speak to rhode island.. if psd says sometimes psd is wrong, then maybe THEY are the ones who are wrong…

  4. purple chai Says:

    Ooh, I wish I had something intelligent to say here in the way of advice, but I know less than nothing about any of this, so I’ll just agree with you: this sucks.

  5. boxx9000 Says:

    Dave’s Dad was career Navy and they were forever moving the family all over the place and the pay checks were always about a month behind! (((hugs))) Dave broke his leg in Hawaii when he was 2 years old and the Navy made the family leave him there and move to Midway Island without him!

  6. art Says:

    the people in PSD in RI is full of shit!! i would talk to command and file a grieveance. its the east coast attitude working here. get names and if possible rates or ranks, and pitch a bitch real LOUD, and call your congressman too!! dirty bastids!! grrrrrr. you done nothing wrong!!

  7. Blue Opal Says:

    That military brass is a bunch of idiots goes without saying. I hope you can sort things out, preferably without killing some snot-nosed bureaucrat along the way

  8. Fi Says:

    Makes me appreciate how well our military treats our boys (and girls).
    Having had years of experience with this kind of crap, my suggestions is to contact your local branch of PSD (without telling them there is a problem) and get them to put their rulings on the case in writing. It may not change anyone’s mind in RI but at least you can show that you had asked and been told you were doing the right thing.
    Otherwise, if you have a central call number for family support, get them onside. Don’t let the bastards screw you.

  9. whatdayisit Says:

    I agree with :fi:…..if you can get the Washington PSD to confirm what they told you; it might help. I imagine it is like any business….one PSD is going to try to override another and since he is now in the RI PSD; they are going to say they have control. I do think it is worth trying to speak to someone higher in authority as long as it doesn’t get your husband in trouble….
    I also understand that having your mother help drive you there is much better than losing husband’s leave time just to move. Good luck!

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