The Mind of Bluesleepy

*sigh* 21 August 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 4:11 pm

I got up this morning, fairly chipper, which surprised me because I was so grumpy yesterday.  I had the beginnings of an entry written, all about how feeling much better today was quite the waste of a grumpy mood.

Then I talk to Kurt, and things go downhill all over again.

Now I’m grumpy again.

It’s just that nothing changes.  Nothing gets better.  I feel like I’m not being taken seriously.

And then I read my friends’ blogs, most of whom are my parents’ age and have been married longer than I’ve been alive, and I lose hope that nothing will ever get better.

So now I have a choice to make.  It seems that I can either shut up and make the best of it, and try not to feel the resentment that tends to build.  Or I can be miserable and resentful, and fight all the time.

I wish there was the choice that everything would be resolved, and everything would work out happily ever after, but I just don’t see that as an option.

Although I guess I can hope………….


10 Responses to “*sigh*”

  1. art Says:


  2. chaosdaily Says:

    awww hang in there!

  3. Blue Opal Says:

    *Hugs* Sometimes it can really look impossible – but you just have to hang onto the belief that really and truly, everything works out in the end. And it will, one way or another.

    I’m still ready to throttle at earliest opportunity, but tomorrow? Who knows?

    I am still holding out hope that once I prove I mean business, my other half will get his head out of his ass and recognize the need to put money into the reality bank, since his reality check bounced to the moon lately.

  4. Terri Says:

    Things CAN get better. I came very close to divorcing my husband 3 years ago, and now we couldn’t be happier. Seriously. We’re disgusting 😉 and will be married 16 years this Friday. We came to a breaking point though. A lot of things had to change and I had to prove I meant what I was saying. Once he realized I was serious and what he stood to lose, changes were made and quick. There is another option! Don’t give up hope! *hugs*

  5. Fi Says:

    There is another alternative. You can choose your battles. Fighting ALL the time just makes everything as unimportant as everything else. If you let the small stuff slide, you have much more chance of making an impact when you do kick up. Because it is rare, it will be noticed and (maybe) listened to.

    Life isn’t the fairytale we all hope for, the handsome prince is human and fallible. You eventually have to choose whether you want to chase the dream that might (but probably doesn’t) exist somewhere else or accept the reality you do have and make the most of it.

    Good luck with which ever direction you go. You are a strong and capable and amazing woman and will thrive no matter what choices you make.

  6. boxx9000 Says:

    marriages go thru PHASES. Some good and some bad. I went thru a really BAD phase and it came to the point where there was no other option other than divorce. I wish we could have worked things out without the divorce, but we couldn’t. Staying in a loveless marriage would have been worse. Who would have EVER thought we’d get back together and end up being HAPPIER NOW then we ever were in 30+ years. Somehow it all works out in the end, it always does. Dave and I did not know HOW to fix things on our own the first time around. I wish we had done some sort of counseling. The years we spent apart gave us LOTS of time to think about what was most important in our lives and it turned out to be each other. (((hugs)) for you. Being apart, young children and now moving is VERY stressful on a marriage.

  7. michele Says:

    huh?? did i miss something? i’m confused. what are you not being taken seriously about? i even went back and looked at your last 3 entries to see if i missed something and i didn’t see that i did. Lucy, please ‘xplain!! 🙂


  8. purple chai Says:

    I’ll echo what Fi said. And right now, when all this craziness is being imposed on you from outside your marriage, isn’t maybe the best time to judge, although it might be worth looking back on and examining later. This sounds like a very rough time for a lot of very real reasons. I’m sorry you have to be enduring it.

  9. Carolyn Says:

    Hi! I’ve been reading your for awhile and should have stopped by to say hi. I (think) I found you through Boxx.
    Your entry reminded me of a conversation I had yesterday. The 16 year old daughter of a co-worker had stopped by our work to get permission from her mom to change her school schedule. She wanted to drop a class and add a study hall. Her mom didn’t want her to. They argued and the 16 year old left. She came back later and walked by me with a HUGE smile on her face. I asked her if she’d changed her schedule. She said “Yes…I WON! I almost always get my way!” I said “Don’t get used to it…someday you’ll be married.” She didn’t get it, but it made me laugh for hours!

  10. terri T. Says:

    Don’t know the specifics on what is troubling you but I do have to agree with others that during this time of relocation, separation and the fact that Kurt was gone from his family for so long; you two probably haven’t had time to really get back to normal. I know you don’t like feeling unappreciated but maybe you should hold out until you are moved and then work out the problems. If it is because he wants to use his leave time to move his family, well…can’t blame him…it is a man thing you know.

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