Wow, I really appreciate all the comments on yesterday’s post. It’s so good to know I am not alone in feeling this way. I guess I figured I was unique, when really apparently we all go through this.
I guess I just thought that I’m going to be 30 in just over a year; shouldn’t I have most of this figured out by now? But no — life is a process, and you just take every day, one at a time.
I’m so glad to have this space in which to vent, and all my cyber friends. Thanks for listening. I hold it in most of the time, thinking that no one wants to hear my kvetching. Thank you for not running screaming the other way when I finally do let my feelings out.
So today is another day, and I’ve actually gotten some things done. Last night I stayed up till after 2am, which was the absolute worst thing I could have done. When I’m depressed, it’s hard for me to want to go to bed, which sounds counter-intuitive. But for some reason, I never want to go to bed when I’m depressed. I guess maybe my brain is worried I won’t get back up again.
I slept in till 9:30am. Somehow I shut my alarm off, instead of hitting snooze. I jumped in the shower, got clean, and retrieved Grace from her crib. So far this morning I’ve had my coffee, fed and dressed Grace, dressed myself, styled my hair, and put on my makeup. Not only that, but I’ve also cleaned my two bathrooms and Swiffered the floors. Not bad for three hours.
Today I’m going to grab some lunch here at the house because I don’t feel like eating out in town, and once I’m done with that, I’m going to Target. I need some things I can’t get here at my Walmart, and Newport doesn’t have a Target. I need to figure out how to get to Massachusetts, though, since I’m tired of going to the Target in Warwick. They’re pretty much equidistant from my house.
Kurt should be home sometime today. His flight lands at 10:30pm, so hopefully he’ll be home by midnight. He could also go standby on an earlier flight if they get done early. He did that when he flew home from San Diego after his last long deployment; he was supposed to land at 7pm in Seattle, but he got an earlier flight and landed at 4pm. I had to really scramble around to get to Seattle to pick him up, but today he’s got a ride home. I don’t even really have to be home when he arrives.
Oh wait. He left his keys here, I think. I do have to be home so I can let him in the house!
Thanks again, everyone. All your words of compassion and advice really touched me. It’s much easier going though life when you know you have people there for you.
Here’s a photo I took earlier today that really made me smile. I hope it does the same for you.
“Look, Mommy — I’ve got the cat!!!”