The Mind of Bluesleepy

Missing DNA 16 December 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 11:41 pm

I apologize for not updating before now. I just am having a hard time coming up with new topics. I’m not depressed or anything; I just can’t seem to think of anything to say.

But I did figure something out — lucky you!!!

Behold this photo:

Who do you think it is??? Any guesses??

That, my dear friends, is my stepmother Marty, at the age of 3, when her parents lived in Michigan as my grandfather studied for his PhD.  Isn’t she just a cutie-pie??  She’ll be 56 on Wednesday, so she’s grown a bit since this photo was taken.

She also looks surprisingly like me, and therefore Grace, at this age.

How can she and I be so similar???  We share absolutely no DNA.

I’m always surprised at the similarities between the two of us.  Folks who don’t even know us will stop us on the street and say that we look so much alike.  I’ve shown photos of the family to my friends, and invariably they will exclaim, “Wow, you look so much like your mother!!”

Usually I just smile and thank them.  It’s too complicated to explain that she’s my stepmother because she is, for all intents and purposes, my mother.

The similarities don’t end with our looks.  We’re both intensely interested in music.  Mom took singing lessons as a kid, and therefore has a gorgeously strong soprano, while my voice is more suited for choir work.  We both love to sing, and we’re each pretty good at it.  I was also blessed with a small bit of musical talent, allowing me to express myself through the piano and cello as well.  My poor mom couldn’t play an instrument if her life depended on it — but she can sing!!!

We both love to read.  Mom’s more interested in mysteries at the moment, while I’m stuck in historical fiction.  But we come to common ground over Jane Austen novels, and a lot of the modern books that have been written to extend the world of Ms Austen.  There was one book we both read that continued the story of Pride and Prejudice, and we both had to giggle over how much sex was in the book!!!  Any time Elizabeth and Mr Darcy got bored, they got the bright idea to head up to their rooms to have sex.  It was fun to laugh over that with my mom.

My mom is always encouraging me to go back to school.  She got her Master’s in Library Sciences back in the late 70s, and she encourages me to go back to school for the same degree.  I would love to do it, and I think my Bachelor’s in Computer Science will really help me, as a lot of libraries use specific software.  Plus it would be my dream job to work around books all day.  I worked in my college library for my last two years of school, first in the Manuscripts and Rare Books department, where I read old, old family letters and summarized each one to make it easier on researchers, and later in Preservation and Conservation, where I replaced worn spines and endpapers and enacted various measures to prevent breakdown in other books.  The only reason I switched departments was because the library was undergoing a major renovation, and Manuscripts and Rare Books had to move off-campus temporarily.  They couldn’t take me with them; they lost their budget for assistants.  I was only making $5.10 an hour (this job wasn’t to make money; it just helped me with time-management while I was in school); I couldn’t figure out how they couldn’t afford me to work 10 hours a week.  But no matter.  I did enjoy my Preservation job, just not as much as the one in Manuscripts and Rare Books.

I know things get rocky here and there between my mom and me…  Maybe that’s just the nature of mother-daughter relationships.  I did have a nice email discussion with her last week, in which I told her how I felt when I was a kid (basically I was the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about).  She didn’t get angry at me either for having said so; maybe she does understand that this is how I feel.

I can see her trying, especially in these later years.  I suppose that’s why I can’t stay mad at her for any length of time.

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9 Responses to “Missing DNA”

  1. clairec23 Says:

    At first I thought that was Grace, then I was like, no wait…:) It is amazing how alike people who aren’t blood related can be. It’s nice that you do have so much in common, I don’t really have anything in common with anyone in my family at all. And at least she is trying, I know how hard it is to stay mad at people on the occasions when they do make an effort, so aggravating!!

  2. clairec23 Says:

    I knew I forgot something! I think you should definitely go back to school if that will lead to you doing what you love. I’d love to work in a library too, I don’t think it would be boring at all.

  3. twisterjester Says:

    She DOES look like both you and Grace. And don’t feel bad – when my kids’ dad and his second wife had a baby girl, the family joke was that he wasn’t the daddy: I was. His second wife and I were friends and their little girl actually does look like me (poor kid!) They even gave her my middle name.

  4. art Says:

    i thought it was you at first, then, i spied the cars in the background, then i continued reading. she does look like you and grace!!! wild, it is!!

  5. Angela Says:

    I see a BIG similarity – at first I wondered if that was baby Karyl, but then I looked at the vehicles in the backdrop and figured it had to be a little more vintage! 🙂 It is awesome that you and Marty have such a fantastic relationship now. And yes, even the best mother-daughter relationships have the occasional bickering!

    I remember your job at the library…I always thought that sounded neat (WAY more interesting than my hotel job!). If you do get your MLS, you’ll be tied with Skittles for Most Awesome Librarian Ever. 😉

  6. whatdayisit Says:

    I thought it was you except for the snow suit being so vintage and the old cars parked behind you. What a great photo!….and isn’t it nice that you two are working on a better relationship now. I think you would be awesome working in a library. Maybe you can take a few college courses online? or at a community college near you. It might be worth checking into…

  7. Poolie Says:

    Holy momma! I am just a few months younger than Marty!

  8. Aimee Says:

    Stopping by to say hello, by way of Cardiogirl and Claire! Hi.

  9. michele Says:

    great entry…

    I find it so interesting how we grew up in the same house and yet, we both have different views/perspectives as to what occurred while we lived there.

    Ironically, I felt the same way that you felt– that I was not really wanted and that I was just an obligation. On the flip side, all I heard from Marty was how GREAT you were and therefore I tried extra hard to be more like you. I know that sounds really odd given that *I* am older, but it’s true. In fact, that’s the main reason that I took up piano— because Marty would brag and brag about how great you were (to her friends as well as complete strangers) and yet she never said anything complimentary about me. She also bragged a lot about your outstanding grades and one time even asked me why I couldn’t be more like you in that regard. (Of course, I thought it was a little unfair to compare a 2nd grader’s report card to a 7th grader’s…)

    Anyway, just thought I’d share!

    Love you!


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