The Mind of Bluesleepy

Some good, some not… 6 April 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 11:01 pm

Well.  Today wasn’t a great day.  But it ended well.  Again.  Now if only we can get the first part of the day to shape up.

Things haven’t been going well between Kurt and me for quite some time.  I mean, it’s mostly good.  Some of you with marriages seriously on the rocks would probably look at us and tell us we’re being ridiculous.  We probably are.  The thing is, we both have pretty quick tempers.  And once you rile Kurt up, there’s no calming him down till he’s good and ready.

So yeah, another fight today over incredibly stupid stuff.  You know how the statistic is that 90% of marital fights are over sex and money?  Those are probably the only two subjects we’ve ever not fought about.  We seem to be compatible when it comes to the sex thing (except when he has to leave for six or seven months at a stretch, and then we’re both miserable), and money… there’s nothing to argue about.  Kurt earns the money, it gets deposited into our account, and then I pay the bills.  Kurt usually has no idea how much  money we have, or what the bills are.  But if he wants something, he says, “Hey, I want to buy this,” and we go get it.  We discuss how much we want to spend on a certain item, and then we agree whether we’re going to buy it or not.  Like he wanted a GPS system, but he decided he didn’t want to spend more than $250 for it.  He found an awesome deal on one on, and we had a couple of reward coupons which brought the price down further.  So of course, he got it.  I don’t tell him he can’t have things; I figure since it’s his money, that would be rude.

So we don’t fight about money, even though I “control” it.  He likes it that way; it takes a lot of the pressure off him.  Especially when he goes away for half a year at a time; it makes more sense for me to know what-all is going on financially in this family so that he doesn’t have to worry when he’s gone.

We just fight over really retarded things.  But we are working on it.  Eventually we’ll grow the hell up and get over ourselves.

But yeah, so another stupid fight today.  Then we made up, so that’s always a good thing.  But then I got upset again, not at him, just in general, because I didn’t know where the title to the car was.  We’re trying to get the car registered here in Rhode Island (the van’s Washington registration doesn’t expire till October), and we need to get it done this month before the Washington registration expires.  We’re less likely to get picked up for out-of-state plates because everyone in this area has out-of-state plates.  Everywhere I look, I see Virginia and Washington plates because most folks are only here for less than a year.  But once our Washington plates expire, WHAMMO!

I remember getting the title in the mail, but I couldn’t remember what I did with it.  I know for a long time it was hanging out in the entertainment center, but then we moved.  Where the hell did it go?  So I got all worked up about that, though I wasn’t yelling or screaming or anything.  I was just irritated and scared and nervous and stressed out.  I looked in the file folder labeled “Karyl’s Car,” but of course it wasn’t there.  Kurt decided to help me, and he started ripping apart the garage while I perused all the containers in the office.  Neither of us could find it.

Finally I asked him to bring the filing cabinet into the house so we could look through it again, and he found it under “Karyl’s Bills.”  Hey, we found it!  But then I busted out in tears again because I thought he was angry at me.  He assured me he wasn’t, and he hugged me and made me feel better.

Dinner was a fiasco.  I wanted to make chicken tetrazzini from the leftover roasted chicken I made, but then I realized that Kurt had put all the sauce from the original meal in with the leftover chicken, which would make the tetrazzini taste really funky.  I wasn’t mad at him; I was just frustrated because I’d had such a rotten day and because my dinner didn’t work out.  I was so upset that all I could do was cry in my room.  What a baby, I know.  But geez, man, enough already!

So Kurt took me out to dinner to a Vietnamese place.  We’ve really been trying to cut down on the eating out because we eat out way more than we probably should.  But you know, I’m really glad we went.  I had this amazingly awesome hot & sweet & sour soup with shrimp as an appetizer; just thinking of it is making me drool.  It’s even better than Chinese hot & sour soup, and I didn’t think I would find anything better than that stuff.  And I even had fish for dinner!  Catfish in a sweet sauce cooked in a clay pot.  But the best part of all was the woman making our dinner heard us tell her husband, our waiter, that Gracie had a peanut allergy, so even though Kurt’s entree normally has peanuts on top of it (not mentioned in the menu, which is frustrating), she left them off for us!  Also the woman came over to us as we finished eating, and we spent another fifteen minutes or so talking to her.  Grace totally loved this lady; she kept giving her hugs and even got her to pick her up and snuggle with her.  I love meeting new people like that.  And the coolest part of all was when her ten-year-old daughter came in from night services at church, and she started talking to her mother in fluent Vietnamese!  Then she turned to say hello to us in perfect, unaccented English.  I’m so envious of people who can move easily from one language to another, and hearing a kid speaking Vietnamese was just so fascinating.  Kurt and I agreed we could have listened to the mother and daughter carry on a conversation for quite some time, just to enjoy the sound of their language.

Let’s just hope tomorrow is good all day long.  I don’t like having bad days.  It’s a good thing they’re somewhat of an anomaly for me.


13 Responses to “Some good, some not…”

  1. Poolie Says:

    Hope tomorrow is a better day, sweetie. Hang in there!

  2. Terri Says:

    You and Kurt will straighten out just fine! Michael and I fought like cats and dogs for the first few years. It’s just growing pains… learning how to get along with one another isn’t always easy. Especially with the one you love most! Sometimes it helps if you have guidelines about how to fight fair. Like, no leaving the house in anger. No name-calling. Stuff like that.

    You’re such a sweetheart! And SO not a baby. Who hasn’t had those days? And dare I mention you’re a roller-coaster of hormones while you grow that amazing new little person? *HUGS* Take it easy on yourself! You’re doing some of the hardest work your body will ever do right now, and you don’t even know it!

  3. Blue Opal Says:

    That kind of frustrations are normal. Be glad you’re not where I am in terms of marriage. Plus, you’ve got the added hormonal funk of pregnancy to keep your emotions on a see-saw. As long as you recognize the fact, you’ll be just fine *Hugs*

  4. sleepyjane Says:

    It’s really no fun at all to have a weekend like that. Usually i can’t recover and be okay just after a fight it takes me a few hours and I also feel weepy. And you are not alone in fighting about such stupid things. J and I always fight about the most absurd things.

    And you aren’t a baby! It feels like my world comes to an end when nothing goes the way I planned.


  5. chaosdaily Says:

    remember, puke!

  6. yankeechick Says:

    Ditto, what Terri said. I was just gonna say the same. The ‘hormone’ thing doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, but at least you know there is a reason for it.

    As for the arguing………for over 30 years I kept my mouth shut (yes, me…can you believe it?) and we never ever argued. I just said “how high and what color”. And that led to me being totally controlled and manipulated. You’ve gotta get things out!! In a way, it’s the only way you 2 can set certainly boundaries or guidelines for your relationship. As long as you never go to bed mad, or leave each other (even to go to work or run an errand) mad at each other! That can be tough, esp when one of you needs your own space to chill, but still….try.

    Big HUGS, sweetie!! Love you!

  7. michele Says:

    the good news is that you’re recognizing that you’re fussing over the silly things in life…which, isn’t too horrible. i think overall people get stressed, etc. and then that translates into a disagreement/fight/argument over little stuff.

    glad you got it worked out and had a yummy dinner to boot!

  8. Kate Says:

    There must be something in the air; Marc and I had little fights over tiny things all weekend. And your hormonal state does not help, I’m sure. I’m just happy that you ended your weekend on a good note with a delicious dinner out. I hope you have a good week, too.

  9. Elle Says:

    Well, better that days are starting out a little rocky and ending up fine, I hate when a perfectly good day goes to hell in a handbasket. Hopefully they’ll get ALL fine very soon. Chuck’s like Kurt, although sometimes it may take a couple of DAYS before he lets go of being mad. Jeez.

  10. Shear Says:


  11. art Says:

    a good way to prevent a fight is to try to stop and think what the problem is!!

  12. Chelle Says:

    I sorry sweetie that you had a rough day. Hope things are looking better for you today and that you are having a marvelous Monday.

  13. whatdayisit Says:

    I’m sure a lot of this fussing is due to the pregnancy hormones and you are still getting used to having Kurt home all the time….it sounds like both of you are doing your best and trying to let the bad times go by as quickly and easily as possible. He probably didn’t realize that the sauce for the original chicken dish would change the taste of the other you planned. You could have made it easy and had left-overs based on the original meal too.
    I am sure this week will be better and you will be just fine.

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