The Mind of Bluesleepy

Thump-thump, thump-thump 19 May 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 11:33 pm

I’ve been chewing my nails off all night.  Not that I had much in the way of fingernails to begin with; I have admitted here before to being a compulsive nail-biter.  And it’s bad.  I have no nails of which to speak.

So I’ve been chewing them down even farther.

Not only that, but I’ve been having mini panic attacks for the last few hours.  Nothing major, just a feeling of pressure over my chest and an elevated pulse.  It’s from stress; I know these symptoms intimately.  It’s been a while since I’ve had them, but they’ve been recurring over the last day or so.

There’s one issue having to do with personal relationships that is bothering me, but I did my best to rectify the situation, and it’s now out of my hands.  It just bothers the beejesus out of me when someone is potentially upset at me.  I hate to think I’ve caused someone hurt.

The other issue is the computer.  Good lord a’mighty.  I don’t think I have mentioned it thus far, but my desktop has officially gone kaplooey.  It was not a surprise in the least that it happened; when it went kaput a couple of months ago, the Dell representative I talked to warned me that it could happen again easily, and that it would be best to reformat.  I elected not to reformat, figuring I will just do it when it’s absolutely necessary.

One day last week I went into the office to wake the computer back up (we put it to sleep every night, and we didn’t tend to wake it back up until I needed to upload photos), but when I did so, it somehow restarted itself.  It got just past the Microsoft screen, just before the XP Welcome screen, and then the screen went black.  Nothing was happening.  I checked to make sure the hard drive wasn’t thinking, and shut off the computer manually.  When I turned it back on, it wouldn’t boot Windows.  I have a corrupted file — which I already knew.  It has finally caught up to me.

So at the moment, the desktop is a paperweight.  I haven’t got the gumption at the moment to reformat the hard drive only because we each have our own computers now.  And whatever was on that computer is lost anyhow, since I am going to reformat the sucker and thereby wipe its hard drive.  That’s why we bought the external hard drive, so I haven’t lost anything.  Well, I did lose two deployments’ worth of emails from Kurt, but I guess I will live.  He’ll go on deployment again in just a few short years.

But that’s not what’s stressing me out.  My dad owns Ph0toshop, and because he has a license for more than one computer, he allowed me to install it on the desktop.  Once the desktop crashed, I asked Dad if he would send the software back to me so I could install it on the laptop.  But Ad0be keeps track of how many computers are registered to a particular serial number, so it told me I couldn’t activate the software on this machine until I de-activated the software on the desktop.  BUT! How could I do that when I can’t even get the computer to boot?

I called Ad0be to explain the situation, and while they were hesitant (for which I cannot blame them), they helped me out and gave me an activation code.  I successfully finished activating the copy on this machine, and things were groovy.

Or so I thought.

Once I opened up the program, it told me that the serial number or username was incorrect.  Aaarrrggghh!  I know what happened; I had a bit of a DUH moment and input my own name instead of my father’s when it asked me.  The only way to fix that in Windows is to uninstall and reinstall the program.  Hopefully this fixes it, or else I will have to transfer my activation back to Dad and give up on having Ph0toshop at all.

This is yet another time I wish I had a Mac.  To fix this problem in a Mac, all I have to do is pop in the CD, fix the problems in the screen that asks for my name and registration, and quit the installer.  None of this “20 minutes to uninstall, and 20 more minutes to re-install just to see if it works.”

Sometimes things are just easier on a Mac (says the die-hard IBM-compatible girl, and ducks as her father throws something at her).

I still don’t know if this will work, and that is why I am a little stressed out.  And when I get stressed, it normally manifests physically by causing an increase in pulse rate and blood pressure, as well as a general feeling of pressure on my chest.  It’s really no fun to feel this way, but it’s the way I react to stress.  That, and chewing the hell out of my non-existent fingernails.  Kurt’s learned to pick up on that; when he sees me chewing more than normal, he always asks me, “What’s wrong?  What’s bothering you?”

It will most likely be just fine, and you know, if it doesn’t work, oh well.  I still have Ph0toshop Elements, so I’m doing just fine there.  Also once Kurt gets his student ID for his community college, I’ll be able to buy my own edition of Photoshop on an educational discount, and it may well be within my budget.

I do have a funny story to share, however.  Kurt took me out to ice cream at one of the local ice cream joints around here (New Englanders love their ice cream, and we’re not talking Dairy Queen or Baskin-Robbins).  We got Grace a slushie that also had ice cream blended into it, and as I handed it to her, she did something or other that I can’t remember at the moment, like snatch it out of my hands or take a huge swallow of it.  So I said what I usually say, which is, “Holy craptastic, Batman!”

The cashier overheard me and dissolved into giggles.  If she started laughing any harder, she wouldn’t have been able to catch her breath.  She informed me she was going to use that from now on, it was so funny.

So if you notice the phrase “Holy craptastic, Batman!” catching on, remember — you heard it here first!!!

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6 Responses to “Thump-thump, thump-thump”

  1. Poolie Says:

    Holy craptastic! Hope things calm down soon, sweetie!

  2. sleepyjane Says:

    Computer problems suck. Seriously. i hope it all gets sorted out for you soon Blue!

    And I freakin’ LOVE that phrase. 🙂

  3. Chelle Says:

    I’m sorry you’re feeling so stressed right now. Microsoft products definitely have their downside and I agree that Macs are more user friendly. I hope you get it worked out soon and that things calm down a little bit.

    Also, the phrase “Holy craptastic, Batman” will be put to good use in my household, don’t you worry!

  4. art Says:

    holy craptastic!! i want some ice cream!!

  5. michele Says:

    “Holy craptastic, Batman, you said ‘kaplooey’ and didn’t say (neener)!”

    heh heh

    Wish there was something I could do to help keep you from feeling physical stress when things are bothering you.

  6. terri t. Says:

    Don’t want to add to your stress level but I used the expression “CRAPTASTIC” last week when my husband asked me how I was feeling in the midst of a horrible head cold…

    but I didn’t say, “Batman!” LOL!

    I hope you can find a way to relax. I get like that too when something goes wrong; it just throws my whole day off.

    A suggestion on biting the nails. Get some acrylic nails put on….you can’t bite them and it will break the habit…but you do have to have them refilled every few weeks and that can cost money…..


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