The Mind of Bluesleepy

Breaking through the clouds 22 May 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 8:57 pm

It’s been one of those days.

The day started off badly. I woke up as Gracie started muttering around in her room, and when I rolled over to look at the clock I was dismayed to see it was just 6:45am. I also didn’t hear Kurt banging out in the kitchen, getting ready for work, so I was concerned. I know he hadn’t kissed me goodbye yet; where was he?? I rolled out of bed to see what was going on, and there he was on the couch, getting ready to check his daily websites.

I snuggled up next to him, and he just held me for the next ten minutes or so until he had to leave for work.

Once he left, I started thinking, and my half-asleep brain came up with a few accusations to fling at him. (It’s a long story; just take my word for it.) I called him in a panic when I couldn’t lay my fears to rest, and while he categorically denied my fears, he also got really very perturbed at me. Finally I began tearfully apologizing, but he had to go in to work and start his day.

I ventured into Grace’s room to convince her to lay back down in bed for a few more minutes and found she was wet. We’re trying the night-time potty thing, and the first time it went splendidly. Last night was much more… soggy. It’s now 7:15 in the morning, far earlier than I am normally awake, and I am stripping Grace’s sheet and mattress pad, remaking the bed, and getting her clean jammies.

Not my idea of a good way to spend the morning.

By this time I am incredibly emotional. I hold it in for Grace’s sake, and manage to get her to lay back down and snooze for a few more minutes. I pick up my book and begin to read in bed, knowing I am too worked up to fall asleep easily.

At 8am, I hear the screen door bang open. It’s Kurt, and he’s forgotten his camera. The guys had gone fishing yesterday, and he wanted to share the photos he’d taken on the trip. I wasn’t sure if he even wanted to see me, as mean as I’d been to him just an hour earlier, but he came into the bedroom and asked if I were okay. I nodded yes, and he removed his uniform (so as not to muss it) and laid down next to me to make me feel better.

It was the best part of the morning, snuggled in my husband’s arms and knowing that he wasn’t mad at me anymore.

It was also better than the early-morning snuggle we’d engaged in on the couch, as he’d been in uniform then, and his chest-full of ribbons had been cutting into my face.

By the time he left to go back to work, I was feeling much better. Before he’d come back home, I had wanted to do nothing more than just lay in bed and hide under the covers. But now I felt so much more optimistic about things, and as I glanced out the windows I realized the day was bright and sunny.

All day, the sun and the clouds chased each other across the sky. Sometimes it was gloomy and dark, sometimes it was sunny, infusing everything with a golden light. In the late afternoon, just before Kurt came home for the day, the rain finally won out and began washing the earth clean. The maintenance men working on the house across the street had gotten caught in the rain. I felt sorry for them at first, but then, like overgrown boys, they seemed to enjoy getting wet and stomping in puddles.

It was just after dinner, when the sun had made one final stand through the rain clouds, that I noticed this beautiful cloud formation just over the homes behind my own:

Incoming storm clouds

The sun breaking through the clouds caused our backyard to explode in diamond shimmers, as the light glinted off the rain, held in suspension by the blades of grass, that had fallen earlier. The light, golden in color and coming in at a sharp angle, made everything that much more green, as if Mother Nature had cranked up the saturation dial on her creation.

It was like the whole world was holding its breath, simply taking in the beauty that had been created after the rain.

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5 Responses to “Breaking through the clouds”

  1. Blue Opal Says:

    Very lovely – both your narrative AND the clouds! ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. art Says:

    what a beautiful story, and the cloud pic too!!! you will be fine, and all is well with you!!! the way you told the story, i felt i was right there with you, watching it all unfold!!! (((((HUGS))))))

  3. sleepyjane Says:

    Simply beautiful. ๐Ÿ™‚

    *hugs* Glad that your day got better, when Kurt came back to get his camera.

  4. Shippie Says:

    Great photo and description too! Looks as if the acts of the clouds was similar to how your morning was eh? Big hugs hon.

  5. whatdayisit Says:

    Your description was lovely and a perfect way to get over the blues too. I wonder if you are having more of these “bad thoughts” because of the pregnancy. It must be involved in some way…hormones raging and flucuating as they do. Loved the pic. of your new shoes….very cute. I didn’t know Birks came in cuteness!


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