I just got home from Bridget’s house. She was trying to have a get-together of the Army Wives to thank them for taking care of her house and her cat while she was on vacation over Christmas. For whatever reason, I was the only one who RSVP’ed in the positive. So we watched a bit of American Idol and finished up with Top Chef.
For those of you who watch Top Chef, I totally did not see it coming, who they voted off. Seriously. Bridget thought it’d be Leah (and now you know Leah is safe, if you haven’t seen the episode yet), but really??? The one they voted off?? I was so rooting for that person! I felt that person took the fall for others tonight. Blargh. I’m not pleased.
But that’s the way it goes, eh?
Last night I went out with my other friend and her friend to have some dinner out and to see Bride Wars. And on Sunday night I went to Bridget’s again to hang out to keep her company while her husband is away on business. So out of the last four nights, I have been gone three of them.
That’s what so lovely about living here in Rhode Island. This is shore duty. Kurt isn’t assigned to a ship right now; he’s an instructor at a school. He doesn’t go away except for a week every nine weeks to take his students on what amounts to an extended field trip. But even that he hasn’t had to do since April of ’08. He’s been home constantly since then!
I complain about it sometimes, but only because as a Navy wife, I am used to him being gone a lot. He was assigned to two ships in Washington state for a total of 54 months. He was on extended deployments of six months or more for twenty of those months. That doesn’t even factor in the small trips of three to six weeks, or the short jaunts of a month or more. He was seriously gone more than he was away. I’m not looking for sympathy; I’m just explaining so you know what I’m talking about.
So with him being home all the time now — it’s an adjustment. But I think we’re doing really well now. We’re both working hard to give each other space, and I am allowing him to make decisions around the house on his own because I don’t really need to decide everything. He’s an adult, he’s also a parent; he can make some of the decisions and take the pressure off me. It’s a wonderful feeling.
And what’s even nicer is that I have been able to get away from the house and do things with my friends as often as I like. Kurt never makes me feel guilty for leaving him alone with the kids. He puts Grace to bed every single night anyhow, so it doesn’t matter whether I am home or not. Mary Ellen sleeps much of the time anyhow, and even if she’s awake and fussing, Kurt feels that it’s my turn to get out of the house and do something for me at night since i’m home with the kids all day. It’s so nice.
I have to admit that I am taking advantage of it to soem degree. I know that he’s home and willing to take care of the kids, so when I hear that something is in the works, I always say I can do it (if it’s something I want to do, that is). The Army Wives thing, choir, seeing Bridget, lunch with the girls, whatever. Kurt says it’s the Year of Karyl (or years — we’re here for three years in total) since I had to do everything myself when we lived in Washington for four and a half years. It’s so nice. I know that I will never have this opportunity again, not till he’s back on shore duty no later than 2014. But that’s a long way off.
So I’m taking advantage of it. Which could explain why I’m a little on the tipsy side after having one too many gin n’ tonics. But you know, it’s so totally worth it. When Kurt’s gone again, this is what I will remember — and know that I will have again once he is back on shore duty. That’s what’s going to keep me going when I think I can’t do any more. Because sea duty doesn’t last, thank goodness. He’ll be home with me once more.