The Mind of Bluesleepy

Never mind that noise you heard 20 January 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 11:26 am

Is it me, or is time flying by so very quickly?  It seems the more I want time to slow down, just so I could savor the moment, the fast-forward button is pressed and time goes zooming by.

I cannot believe we’ve been here already two and a half years.  It seems like yesterday I said we were here two years.  Now we’re staring at another move, just when I’ve gotten really comfortable living here.  Why would I want to move?  We live a mile and a half from the base, so close that I hear colors playing twice a day as the flag is raised and lowered.  It takes Kurt seven minutes to get to work, a far cry from the two hours or more it would take him when we lived in Washington state.  Everything we could possibly want is right here on the island or just off it, instead of living in the middle of farm country, when it would take fifteen minutes just to get to the grocery store or a gas station.

Mind, I really loved living in Washington, even though we lived in the middle of nowhere.  But it sure is nice to be able to leave the house five minutes before I’m supposed to be somewhere.

I guess what’s getting to me is the unknown.  We don’t know where we are going.  Japan’s off the list, so far as I know; I guess another GSEC volunteered to go.  Right now it’s looking like Norfolk, which wouldn’t be a bad thing except the ship isn’t one Kurt wants to go to.  Besides, I’ve been to Norfolk.  Why not take advantage of a free move and go somewhere new?

I really thought the year that all my friends lived here would fly by, and it really did.  I was always over at Bridget’s or hanging out with the girls as a group.  But I thought that this year would drag since all my friends were gone.  Somehow it’s passing by so quickly that it doesn’t even feel like I can catch my breath.

It feels like just yesterday I was dreading the trip to Tucson, only because flying with a toddler, especially one that can’t talk, is rarely fun.  But our trip was already two months ago.  It was right around then that I found out when my friend Jen (her diary is locked now, or I’d link her) was getting married, and yet the wedding was this weekend.

The more I dread something, the faster it seems that I am rushing headlong toward it, with no brakes to slow me down.  And I have to admit I am dreading this move.  Once I get to wherever it is that we are going, it will be fine, but until I’m there, I’m going to dread the move.

Can it already be January 20th?

Can it already be ten years that Kurt and I have been together, as of yesterday?

This diary started in March of 2000, three months after Kurt and I started dating, a fact I lament just a tiny bit.  I would love to have a written account of our first date, as I have a terrible memory.  I do remember some things, like heading out of my dorm at W&M to see him smiling and walking toward me.  I do remember the awkwardness for just a little while, till we realized we had so much in common.  I remember pawing through his CD case (hey, this is before iPods and satellite radio) to find a taste in music nearly as varied as my own.  Who else would have both Paula Abdul (yes, she was a singer before she was on American Idol) and Metallica in his collection?  Let’s not forget Reel Big Fish either; I figured at the time that I was the only one who’d buy their album.  But no, there it was in Kurt’s case, and it too was one of his favorites.

I do remember going to MacArthur Center in downtown Norfolk, wandering the mall and having him buy me color-changing markers.  I remember him begging for a kiss here and there, and pecking him on the cheek to keep him quiet.  Silly man.

I remember the weather getting nasty, and my having to stay with him that night because it was too dangerous to go all the way back to campus.  I remember getting the news that Terry Zahn, one of the newscasters on WAVY-TV 10 in Norfolk, a man who I’d watched all throughout my childhood, had succumbed to cancer.  I remember being embarrassed that I was so upset about the loss of a stranger, yet Kurt didn’t seem to think it was so strange.

And now, ten years on, we’ve been through a rushed wedding, thanks to September 11th, two cross-country moves, the death of our beloved dog, the birth of two beautiful children, and the challenges of raising those kids.  Yet somehow I still feel the same inside as I did when I was 20, and there are days that I am amazed that I’m a mother.  Who left these kids in my charge anyway?  But the one thing that remains the same is the man by my side, and I hope that will never change.

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6 Responses to “Never mind that noise you heard”

  1. cocoabean Says:

    awww how sweet! *sniff*

  2. terri t. Says:

    I hope you always feel that way about each other. As time goes by, we start to take each other for granted and it isn’t as exciting to hear the same stories again or the same opinions!
    Good luck with the relocation. I hope you both can find a place that you enjoy and that will be good for Kurt’s career too.

  3. beccasfamilyof5 Says:

    Happy anniversary for yesterday, I hope you had a great day.

    Time IS going so quick.

    This time last year I discovered I was pregnant with Liam ( I suspected but it was this very day I got the positive test result) and now I have a 4 month old little boy. Crazy world hey?

  4. Happy anniversary – and what a wonderful tribute. I hope the man in your life sees this and appreciates it!

  5. SJAT Says:

    Staying the same kid inside is important. That’s why I try to as well…

  6. ExMi Says:

    luckily i’ve been blogging since before i met my Boyfriend – so I have a pretty good record of our relationship…..but our tastes in music couldn’t be more different!

    although i hate paula abdul, i do happen to think that Reel Big Fish are pretty damn cool. love them!


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