The Mind of Bluesleepy

In your eyes I see a fire 2 February 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 11:16 am

I finally got my hair did again yesterday.  It’d been over six weeks, which is a long, long time for me to go between appointments.  My hair grows super fast, for one, and then red is a color that fades quickly.  Generally I get my hair done every four weeks, but at the four-week mark my hair still looked good, still a bright red, and my roots were barely noticeable.  That, and my hair was still behaving when I tried to style it.  So six weeks it was — and while I mourn the lack of the hair ‘do I had yesterday, the shorter look is good too.

And it takes all of thirty seconds to blow-dry.

I got to chatting with my stylist, as I do (who, me??  Chatty??  Nahhhhh), and the talk turned to Facebook.  I love this woman.  She has problems sleeping some nights, so she spends her nights on FB when insomnia hits.  Of course, this means that we’re on at the same time, since I stay up far too late most nights.

One thing she’s noticed lately is how mean people have gotten on FB.  And you know, it’s true.  I thought Facebook was a place for us to share our photos and our lives with our friends, a convenient one-stop place for friends and family to keep up with us.  Most of my friends hold to this belief as well, for which I am hugely grateful.  My stylist was telling me about one of her friends who posted a personal attack on her (the friend’s) sister-in-law, and the language she used was absolutely shameful.  And it wasn’t just her!  There was another friend of my stylist’s who wrote something to another friend that was inflammatory at best.

I realize that the anonymity of the internet makes it very easy to say things we’d never have the guts to say to a person’s face, but why on Facebook?  And why so publicly?  If you have a problem with someone, send it in an email.  There’s no reason to be airing all your dirty laundry in such a public forum.

Facebook seems to be the place to complain lately.  Sure, there are days when I don’t feel the greatest, either physically or mentally, and I’ll post something to that effect.  But there are folks that seem to look for the rain clouds in the beautiful blue sky, and that’s all they ever post about. This person will piss them off, so that’s a Facebook post.  And then something else pisses them off, so there’s another Facebook post.  Whatever happened to looking at the bright side of things?

That, and what is it about Facebook that makes people so antagonistic?  Sometimes it feels like people are just digging for a fight, and they’ll post the most inflammatory things to see who’ll bite.  And one thing that really bothers me is all the political things swirling around.  Look, I realize I have a differing political view from most of my friends, but I believe in respecting whoever it is that occupies the White House.  That man is my husband’s boss, and far be it from me to be disrespectful.  Our country was built on the idea that we are allowed to disagree with our political leaders, but there’s a proper way to do it.  Calling our president names, and pointing out every mistake he’s made and even some he hasn’t had a chance to make, isn’t the way to go about it.  It’s one thing to have a thoughtful discussion about politics on Facebook, if that’s your thing, but personally I’d rather not it all shoved in my face whenever I log on.

I am also amazed at what people will put on Facebook.  I know some folks won’t even put their real name, like our own Poolagirl (though we all know her real name is actually Angela Lansbury!), and I respect that.  But others see it as a way to hang all their dirty laundry out to dry.  Do folks not realize  that huge amounts of people can see their postings?  If you post on someone’s Wall or their status message about your own marital problems, or that surgery you had but don’t want people to know about, anyone who’s friends with that person can read about it as well.  And now you’ve got people you don’t even know learning more about you than you probably wanted them to know.  If you really want to keep something private, send an email — or better yet, call the person.  That way there’s no paper trail at all.

Let’s all try to keep Facebook fun, shall we?!  (For the record, if you’re reading this, I’m not talking about your FB habits.  It’s just something I’ve noticed in general.)

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7 Responses to “In your eyes I see a fire”

  1. cocoabean Says:

    As you know, I don’t do a lot on FB. I would rather post about my day in my journal and leave FB for the rookies. I can keep up with my kid on FB and that’s really why I joined. To me, it’s a lot like Twitter.. and I did twitter for about two weeks before I decided it was, well… not my game.

  2. terri t. Says:

    I agree with you. I really think the technological age has caused many people to lose their sense of respect for others. You can just put out anything in any words and hurt someone’s feelings or expose their secrets and get away with it. It’s the same with the blogs (as you know)…. So many ill-tempered people who have nothing better to do than pick a fight or start a flame war and hurt lots of people in the end.

  3. LA Says:

    One of the reasons I kept my FB friend list very small. I don’t do many links or join any massive games, I got very burnt on the ugliness of plain old blogging, the emotional violence of the FB flame wars are horrible! Not for me, thanks. I stay low and say hi my few buddies, play Bejeweled, keep it easy.

    I do very much enjoy your menu and recipe stuff though! Reminds me to be a more imaginative cook. ~LA

  4. beccasfamilyof5 Says:

    I never wrote about it but there are some spiteful people in the land of blogging too who use fb as a source of causing problems. I think I’ll email you the story one day but phew, talk about being stalked!

  5. poolagirl Says:

    You are always such a sweetie, and that is one of the many things I adore about you. Yes, I don’t use my real name. Frankly, I didn’t know what I was doing when I signed up! Truth! But now that I’m there, I am glad that it takes some tricks to find me. I want online communities to be fun and supportive. I never say in an open forum what I would not want said to me personally. One of the things my mother was careful to teach me was….How is this being received, Poolie? I think it’s important to always sit in our own audience. I don’t understand mean shit either. I have not been attacked on FB (yet). I’m sure it will come. Someday, somebody will get tanked off that I think I look like Angela Lansbury and wipe the floor with me. Whatever. *sigh* I always have my real friends to keep an even keel for my madness as well as who I really am. Thanks for posting this. Very important entry, dear one.

  6. terri t. Says:

    Just heard that someone who works for a local company was told not to be spending her worktime on FB and her boyfriend posted threats against the same company on her FB account…She got fired on Monday after her employers and co-workers saw the threats posted….. They documented all her time on FB and the threats since she will probably sue them for discrimination…..

  7. I enjoy my FB time. I guess I am lucky….I’ve not seen any mean stuff directed towards anybody, nor dirty laundry being vented or aired. I have a lot of “friends”, from all over the world. I enjoy their little daily blurbs, the silly stuff we do like the celebrity photos, and the personal photos. I love hearing from people I normally only get to see once a year, and able to keep up with them. I’ve been friended by some family members I lost contact with. There definitely are political views, but nothing offensive.


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