The Mind of Bluesleepy

I tried to catch your eye 8 September 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — bluesleepy @ 7:26 pm

Sisters

My baby is all growed up!  Can you believe it?  She has started kindergarten today.  ME wanted to get in on this first-day-of-school photo, so of course I had to oblige.  I have to admit, ME’s expression is cracking me up, like she’s so distrustful of this whole “school” thing Grace is now involved in.  I assure you she wasn’t actually cranky.  It’s just her patented look of disdain.

I was a little worried for Gracie, going to school for a full day for the first time in her short life, but she seemed to handle it quite well.  She was a bit nervous when she first got there, but she must have warmed up quickly because when I retrieved her off the bus this afternoon she could not stop talking about all the fun things they did.  The first thing she said was, “Mom!  We had music today!”  Yes, folks, she is definitely my child.

She was so excited about everything.  They went outside two times!  (And that’s how she put it too, “two times.”)  They had music class!  She had hot lunch!  She got to ride the bus home!  She even met a new friend that she had to tell me all about.

I’m really excited for her, especially after I figured out that Grace is part of a multi-age class.  I was told that wasn’t an option for her since we wouldn’t be here long enough, so I was pleasantly surprised to find out this morning that she did make it into that class.  I think it’s because she can already read and write that they felt it was the best placement for her.  I’m quite glad about this.  I had been really concerned that she would be bored out of her skull (as I was throughout most of my public school education) in a regular kindergarten class with kids who were still learning their letters.  Now she’s in a class that’s a two-to-one mix of kindergarteners to first graders, and they do a lot of activities with the other multi-age class, which is a two-to-one ratio of second graders to first graders.  She won’t need to be bored; if she’s more advanced than one group of classmates, she’ll be put with another group.  Plus I’ve heard really great things about her teacher from other parents whose kids were in her class, and I guess the whole school is really great.  I’m almost sorry to be leaving halfway through this school year.

It was so weird here alone with just one kid all afternoon.  I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself all day.  And now I’ll have to figure out how to entertain ME, since Grace was doing such a great job of it for me.

ME had quite a break-through herself today as well.  While Grace was at school, ME’s speech therapist came for the first time in two weeks.  We only get four sessions a month, you see, and somehow we got all our August sessions out of the way early.  So finally the therapist came today, and ME couldn’t stop talking!  It was so great to hear all the sounds that were coming out of her mouth, especially since the therapist was there to hear it.  Usually if ME gets talkative, it’s only around Kurt and me.  But this time she “performed” on demand!  Yay!  She was even attempting words she’d never said before, like “girl” and “fly” and “choo-choo” for the scenic train’s whistle that we can hear from the house.  What’s funny is that the speech therapist and I would be discussing something else, letting ME play on her own, and that’s when her speech would start really coming out.  The more we paid attention to her, the quieter she got.

Fickle kid.

So in a way, we intentionally discussed other issues, to make ME think we weren’t paying attention to her, and maybe that’s why she was talking so much.  Whatever works!  It made me so proud to hear all the sounds that she was making, and how hard she was trying to communicate.

We’re also attempting to wean ME off the binky.  Taking the bottle away from her was super easy.  We just switched her over to sippy cups once she was 1.  She never seemed to miss the bottle at all.  The binky has proven so much more difficult.  I wanted to take it away now, before it got even harder, and I was reminded yesterday of what happens when a parent gets distracted by other issues — I saw a four-year-old little girl with a binky planted firmly in her mouth at the naval clinic yesterday.  Yikes.

I talked to the speech therapist about what we could do about ME and taking the binky away.  It’s been a good week since she’s had one, but it’s been a very hard week.  Everything, and I mean everything, has angered ME in some way, shape or form.  And when she gets angry, she starts screaming.  She wants nothing but her binky at that point.  She doesn’t want to be held; she squirms to get down.  She doesn’t want her water bottle; she flings that away.  Anything you try to give her to distract her, she’ll throw as hard as she can.  She’s been screaming so much her voice has gone hoarse.  Fortunately it’s seemed to calm down a bit between yesterday and today.  Kurt put her down for a nap today, telling her that he’d be right back, and she laid down and resigned herself to her fate.  No yelling.  Today she threw a fit because she wanted a snack right before dinner was ready, so I ended up putting her in the corner to calm down.  A few moments later, there was silence — and she came walking back into the kitchen.  I asked her if she was done, and she nodded yes.  She wasn’t quite, but at least she was trying.

But I’m not giving her back that damned binky.  She’ll be two tomorrow, and it’s time to give it up.

Both my girlies are growing up so fast.  Man alive, I can’t believe it.  They’ll be in college the next thing I know!

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10 Responses to “I tried to catch your eye”

  1. cocoabean Says:

    OOooo definitely don’t give her the binky back or you will NEVER get it away from her! A week without it is a great start. Soon she will forget about it, and all will be well again!

  2. twisterjester Says:

    Hard to imagine your girls are so big! When I started reading you Grace wasn’t much older than ME is now.

  3. Jesse's Girl Says:

    Victoria is a thumb sucker. She sucks her thumb when she’s really tired now, but I’m wondering how long it’ll take for her to completely stop.

    • Patty Berrt Says:

      Hi! About the binky situation … and of course this is all just my opinion. If you force the binky away from ME at 2 she will likely replace it with some other negative object or behavior. Its all developmental. I am the mom of 3. Jillian is now 22 and in the Navy, Matthew is 19 and in 2nd year of college for engineering, and Kevin is 13 and in a gifted program. All 3 of my children took the binky as infants until they regularly and purposefully found their thumbs at about 3 months. Then the binky was rejected (by them). Humm, all three at almost the same age…makes me wonder if there isn’t a genetic component to this. From there, they continued to suck their thumbs frequently until about a year. Then the thumb sucking diminished to only naptime, bedtime, and when they were upset about something. Again, all three, and with no interference at all from their father or I (I was full-time mom and caregiver…no day-care influence). This continued well into age 3 and I began to worry about it but 20 some years ago the current philosophy was to let the child lead with all weaning (BTW, I also breast-fed and supplemented with formula (all three kids) until about age 1 when I introduced whole milk and the sippy cup. No problems at all with the switch from bottle to cup – weaning from the breast, I let them lead. Daughter gave it up at 10 months and two sons at about 1 year and 13 months.) Anyway, back to the thumb sucking…..I worried about this with my first child (daughter) but decided to stick with the plan of letting her decide when enough was enough – after all you can’t just take away a thumb so what choice did I have? Well, lo and behold at about 3.5 I noticed she found other ways to calm herself when upset. Naptime had ceased and at bedtime she was basically so worn out from preschool and/or playing all day that she fell asleep quite quickly hence she forgot all about the need for her thumb. The same thing happened with both my boys at just about the same age. I think if my husband and I had been more stressed about it and constantly pulled that thumb out of their mouths, they would have been sucking it well into their adolescent years. Try to relax about it and let ME show you when she doesn’t need it anymore. After all, she is only two. And don’t we adults have our own coping “mechanisms” too? And hey, some of them are oral too (although I’m not condoning those methods). Try taking away an adult’s coping mechanism…..it can get pretty ugly too. I guess what I’m trying to say is this….you are doing a fabulous job with your girls. Just try to relax about this issue and you will end up with a happier, more well-adjusted child who can find her own way to “deal” with things instead of having others decide that for her. Trust me, she WILL give the binky up when she becomes too interested in life around her to bother with it anymore. It will become a nuisance to her as she grows rather than an object of necessary comfort. But she needs to discover that for herself. But you are her mother and only you know her best and what is best for her. Good luck with whatever you decide and keep up the fabulous work you are doing.

      • bluesleepy Says:

        We decided to take the binky away now because it had worked well with my older daughter. She is now a very happy, well-adjusted nearly six-year-old. I think with ME we just need to have more patience, and that’s with everything having to deal with her. Today she had a fit because she wanted to run around the grocery store instead of sitting in the cart, so I had to just wait the fit out, comforting her as much as I could. Lo and behold, she finally quieted down and I was able to do my shopping. She’s just very stubborn and she wants what SHE wants. That’s just her nature. I am glad neither of my kids were thumb-suckers; I sucked my thumb until I was 16. Part of it had to do with the extremely stressful childhood I had, but I also couldn’t make myself stop, no matter how much I wanted to. My parents didn’t actively try to start forcing me to quit sucking my thumb until I was at least six years old. I showed no signs of giving it up until I decided I didn’t want to go to college sucking my thumb. I didn’t want to have to go through the same thing as my parents had to with me. I think ME is handling the lack of a binky well now, especially since it’s been so long since she’s had it. This morning’s fit was the first one she’d thrown in at least 24 hours and is probably part of the so-called “Terrible Twos.” I’ll just have to have as much patience with her as I can.

  4. SJAT Says:

    Oooh. We have so much to look forward to. So did she love it?

  5. Those 2 daughters of yours are so danged cute!!!!

  6. terri t. Says:

    Loved the photo of the girls. I think you have great instincts and it sounds like you have gone through the worst with the binky already. I bet ME will be over it very soon. I recall I got rid of my son’s pacifier when it was falling apart…I told him it was broke and we threw it away in the trash…he didn’t ask for it after a few more days. Great news that ME is talking more….I know you are loving that…

  7. cardiogirl Says:

    I cannot believe how old ME looks! They are so sweet; Grace looks very excited to start school. I love how large her backpack is by comparison.

    I wish so badly that I’d given my younger two a pacifier. Middle kid sucks her thumb and *will* need braces. She’s not giving it up even though the dentist has put in an appliance to discourage it. Ugh, so frustrating.

    Youngest kid sucks her index and middle finger together. Man how I wish I’d given them a pacifier that I could take away. Good luck.


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